[wxqc] Fw: Top 5 Smart Ass Answers for 2005

[Thomas Barstow]

I figured everyone could have a brighter day with these answers.




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>TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005...according to Reader's Digest:
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>Smart Ass Answer #5:
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>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check 
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. 
>I instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing 
>a beat...she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
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>Smart Ass Answer #4:
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>A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she 
>couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 
>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied," No ma'am 
>they're dead
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>Smart Ass Answer #3:
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>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding 
>rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop 
>said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." 
>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way 
>without a ticket.
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>Smart Ass Answer #2:
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>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up 
>that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is 
>right Ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are 
>backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets 
>out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on 
>his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I 
>was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
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>AND NOW...FOR THE BEST ONE...#1 SMART ASS
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>ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.
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>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
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>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here 
>tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal 
>injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's 
>it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
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>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 
>"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete 
>and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to 
>laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the 
>teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly 
>says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
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Tom Barstow
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